So here is the thing about World of Warcraft...
Once upon a time - a very long time ago - it was fun. People used to
be polite and friendly. Joining groups to play with was something to
look forward to. Here is what it looks like today, when you want to
join others for a dungeon or two:
First, you will have to wait for half an
eternity to be finally invited into a dungeon. This is of course so,
because of the role assignment formation. For each 5-person dungeon 3
out of the 5 players are so called damage dealers. 1 is a healer and
1 is a tank. So if you are playing a damage dealer, you will have to
wait at least three times the amount anyone else has to, to join a
dungeon group. This again depends on how many people are recently in
a mood to tank and heal, so that the dungeon group even comes
together at all. And of course, it also depends on how many bots the
game owner has decided to allow free passes this year. If there are
many, your spot will be taken by a robot over and over again.
Second, when you finally join, the dungeon group may already be on its way to finishing the dungeon. Even worse, they finish it just on the moment you enter. So there you are, waiting 30 minutes, joining a game that is already over and sitting there slapping the ash (from your millions of smokes you had while waiting) out of your keyboard. The group is disbanded. And as a special gift, you will have to wait another 30minutes, before you can finally go and be productive within a 5-person setting. To not have any misunderstandings, I must explain, that I mean the word “productive” in the most sarcastic ways of all. Because on WoW you are never actually productive.
Third, you join a group only to find a bunch of
bots playing. At first, you will notice nothing. If you are a noob,
you will not notice nothing until the dungeon is over. But if you
have a sane state of mind, you will see after a couple of minutes,
that a bunch of static bots with no movement and not even
pre-programmed skill, try to get something done. Why? Because WoW
characters on level 100 sell for some dollars and someone figured to
earn a dollar or two at your expense – as you are actually paying
for the game dutifully every month. Big fat facepalm.
Fourth, you join a group and meet a bunch of
loosers, that have not managed the basic game-play yet, after so many
years. They find it hard to zoom out and see nothing on their
screens. Hence, they die. Hence, you die. Or they see fire and even
though the loading screen even tells them to move out of it, they
will sit on it. Like in the funny pictures with the cats that sit on
everything. Sits on it! Some players just like to get roasted over an
open flame. And just before they die, they might try to move out of
the fire. But all this happens too fast for them! Hence, they die.
Hence, you die. So this is what you waited for, for at least 30
minutes.
Fifth, you join a group and you meet a bunch of
YOLOs. I hate that word! But they are as retarded as that word is. So
I find it suitable to describe them. Those people leech their
self-esteem out of those pretty screen pixels. They do something
well, they applaud themselves. And of course, their mates are always
around. And the YOLOs are cheering on each other, like there are
achieving something marvellous every time something drops. Then their
bullying begins, because without bullying others they are weak and
can't therefore be YOLOs any more. And if they can't be YOLOs, their
life is over. So over!! So while they are sitting on their rotten
chairs, sweating over the table and spitting all over their keyboard,
they think it is funny to bully you. You are not one of them. So
hence the logic to bully you. So they laugh and spit their screens
from laughter, with hair growing out of their armpits for the last
decade. Still, they feel fantastic, because they are proud to be
YOLOs.
I just gave you 5 reasons why not to waste time
any more with World of Warcraft 5-Player dungeons. Those reasons I
mentioned, took no effort at all to think of and this is because the
stuff I mentioned is routine. If you are a WoW-gamer, I applaud your
patience to put up with that stuff. But I also would like to smack
you across the face, to tell you to think about YOU. If you put up
with all of this, then who are you??
Post-Author: Sentinel Jonathan Drawers
Posted in: Computergames
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