When
do we accuse the partner of not being loving?
Human
relationships are an interaction. No one side is alive without the
other. Accusing your partner of something, does not come from
nowhere. There is always an underlying reason for each accusation. If
you knew those reasons, you could communicate them instead of being
practically forced into an argument. What are the reasons for
accusing your partner of not loving you?
1.
Your partner is cynical: Someone showing a cynical attitude shows a
passive aggressiveness. Apart from it also showing you that he does
not take what you say seriously, it a form of on attack. Nobody
wishes to be attacked, especially not by the person one is to feel
safe with. You conclude that a person who loves you would not do you
harm. Attacks harm you, therefore he does not love you.
2.
Your partner is distrustful towards you: You feel hurt, because for a
long time you have tried to be someone who is trustworthy. After all
the experiences, she should be able to trust you. You begin to
wonder, if there is something you have done wrong or if she has
something to hide. Distrust perpetuates itself like a viral disease
in your relationship. You relaize this and conclude that someone who
is willing to let a virus spread, does not love you and your
relationship.
3.
Your partner is sceptical towards you: Everything you say is always
put to doubt. Nothing is being accepted, just because you said it.
All your words await trial. You begin feeling incompetent and
believing that your partner doubts your competence for clear thought.
You conclude that your partner believes that you are of inferior
intelligence. He cannot possibly love you, if he thinks you are
stupid.
4.
Your partner seems malicious to you: Everything she says has a
purpose, the purpose of causing harm and promoting her own
self-interests. You are used to promote those other interests.
Meanwhile, your interests are left aside, tagged as not important.
You realize that someone who wants to harm you and cares more about
herself than you cannot possibly love you.
5.
Your partner is scheming: Everything is some sort of a plot to her
and you have to fit right in it. If you revolt, you get kicked out of
her world and no longer have access. You are forced to fit in and to
follow her set of rules, codes and permissions. You realize that you
are only loved as long as you fit neatly into a box. You conclude
that you cannot be loved, because only the box and not the contents
are being loved.
6.
Your partner is dishonest: You have nobody to rely on and all the
words seem like a double-edged sword. You get cut no matter how you
hold it. You begin wondering, why your partner is dishonest and start
blaming yourself that maybe you are the one who cannot be trusted.
You feel that your partner considers you just stupid enough to feed
you those lies relentlessly. You conclude that your partner does not
respect your mind and does not love you enough to present you with
clear thought.
7.
Your partner is egoistic: Everything she does seems to have a
self-serving pupose. Your needs are left out in the cold to freeze.
You believe in a fairy-tale kind of love, where selflessness equals
love. Therefore, selfishness equals hate. Your needs remain
unattended. You conclude that your partner cannot love you if his
needs always preceede yours and your happiness.
8:
Your partner is self-centered: The whole world revolves around him.
Everything you say is personal for him. Every time you say how you
feel , he believes you to be judgemental. He does not understand that
you are being open to just let him know how you feel for him to be
able to understand you, to be able to resolve a situation. He
believes you blame him and does not understand that how you feel is
not the same to how you think of him. Every communication attempt
re-routes towards him and his feelings. You are left standing outside
alone with your feelings. You condlude, that he cannot love you,
because your feelings are always misunderstood and never addressed
with an open heart.
9:
Your partner always wants to be... [Read more]
Posted in: Psychology
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