How To Change Thought In Accordance With Behaviour

How To Change Thought In Accordance With Behaviour

Changing thought and changing behaviour as a result of that thought process, is difficult to do. Many people attend sessions with a psychotherapist to be guided along that path. For example, your husband may exhibit a behaviour hazardous to your health, such as drinking a little too much. The time has now come to change that. But you don’t know how to promote such a change within him.

There are five steps to follow:

1. Get his attention:

Make sure that you have his full attention even before starting to talk about the issue. Once you start talking, make sure to hold that attention in place. If you are loosing that attention, there is no point in forcing it. Try another time or think about a way to say it differently. The choice of words can make all the difference.

2. Generate understanding:

Make sure that whatever you say is properly understood. Many word-constellations are highly prone to causing misunderstandings. Watch your phrazing and be clear in what you say. There is no rush so take your time. Make sure that your conversation partner is able to follow you, maybe by asking something back, such as "What do you think about that?". Your message is to reach him as you intended it to be, not as he interprets it to be.

3. Acceptance:

Before something changes, the reasons for change must be accepted first. Make sure that the reasons you have given, are not contradicted. If they are, you must rethink your cause from the start. If he agrees with you and your presented arguments, and he comes to accept them, the path is even enough to build a road.

4. Remember the Motives:

If you discuss one thing today and tomorrow it is forgotten, you unfortunately need to start all over again. If it is still remembered, it means that your words have had some sort of impact - preferably of course a positive one, because negativity pulls it all backwards. Now that the message is clear even on the next day and therefore on the days to still come, action can begin. Start practising a behaviour. Swap "don’ts" with "do's instead". Instead of "Don't drink" make it "drink juice".

5. Behaviour:

Our mind remembers and sticks to everything that we practice a lot. We do things often to be able to recall them quicker and better, and to generate habits. A behaviour becomes a habit, when it is repeated often. As soon as it becomes a habit, it's done.

Note: these do-it-yourself techniques work only to a limited extent. If the issue is more complex, such as alcoholism, it is strongly recommended going to a physician or therapist! 

Posted in: Psychology