How To Be Lovable and Loved [Part 2]

Forgiveness is one of the more difficult to achieve attributes. Being benevolent, permissive and conciliatory are the basic characteristics of a person who is forgiving. Being benevolent is hard to achieve. A good point to start is to not be addicted to having arguments with someone, to not always persist on being right and to not be so strict. Try to diffuse fires, try to see how someone else may be right in certain things and tell them that they are right, and let a human be a human sometimes with her faults and flaws. Understanding the way another person thinks by talking a lot facilitates you being able to give people a break from time to time. Knowing that whatever is true for you, is not true for another, but both sides are to be equally respected, can help you letting go of grudges.

Showing humility from time to time, being modest and not focused on vanity will make you more approachable. Vain is pain! By showing humility you show that you accept yourself with your flaws included and are therefore not overly judgemental. The other person will become more available to you, if she sees that you are approachable. She will also feel that making a mistake is not the end of the world and will therefore be more apprehensive to you. We all strive for belonging and being accepted by others. By acknowledging your humility you show that not only you accept yourself, but others as well. Nobody has to be perfect around you and everyone can be just who they are with you. You basically voice that you can love another person for who they truly are, just as much as you love yourself for who you are.

Empathy refers to being indulgent, compassionate, understanding and insightful. By being empathetic you make it possible for other people to be open towards you. If you hear someone complain about you not being understanding or insightful, what she means is that she wants you to be more understanding so that she can finally open up towards you. To be empathetic you have to listen to what another person has to say. You have to take it all in and think about it. Try seeing the world from the other persons perspective, She is seeing a much different world than you are. Once you have heard what she had to say and seen the world with her eyes, you are insightful and understanding. Only then you can react indulgently and offer true compassion. This allows love to grow strong and to be unbreakable.

To sum up, to be loveable you must be compatible and have a warm heart. In order to be just that, you will need to show trust, honesty, altruism, forgiveness, humility and empathy. People know when you are authentic in your feelings and in what you show. We are all equipped with the basic instincts for the purpose of recognizing these attributes.

Be aware to what kind of a person you try to be loveable towards. These attributes are unfortunately open to manipulation, so choose "your person" wisely. Trust your feelings, they will tell you immediately if you have chosen wisely. You yourself are equipped with that instinct. But dont be afraid. This will only hinder you from finding love in your life. We all need to be loved and we are all loved by someone.

[Read: HowDo I Know If Someone Loves Me?]

[Go Back to Part 1]

Posted in: Psychology